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Saturday, April 05, 2008

WTF?!!!

What the fuck (WTF?) is happening to me???It's been so darned long since i actually wrote something.
I don't even feel like logging onto blogger.com anymore.
I don't know why...i just don't write anymore...

Its more like i cant write anymore...I've got this major writer's block or rather BLOGGER's block. I am trying to cure it - you will notice from the written content below.

I am at 503, Suruthi Block, Choolai Medu, Chennai - that is the bachelor pad/fuck shack/ovenishly hot apartment that i live in nowadays. And as usual I'm alone and a bordering insomniac... nothing seems to have changed...sometimes everything seems to have changed.

The little blogger clock next to the save button says 'Draft autosaved at 1:52 AM'... i guess that sums up the time that i am entering this blog...

Now whoever reads this (if anyone reads this!) might be wondering...what the fuck (wtf?) happened after The Fast and the Fucked : Manipal Drift? Where is the sequel?

Ans : I did have a sequel for it ready even before the i uploaded Manipal Drift, but i did not get enough time or rather did not have the inclination toward uploading it.

Until today. But i still wont be uploading it because i think i still need to refine the article a little bit. Fuck that...thats just another empty promise i make...i seem to make only empty promises these days.

Today is the birthday of a person who is one of the human being's i am the closest to.

And hence, I am wallowing and drowning myself in guilt right now.

So why the guilt?

I did not call him.

I am evil...undeserving...obnoxious...self centered...

I am myself.

Why didn't I???

Ans : I was out and enjoying at one of the coolest (read lamest) joints in Chennai called Mocha with my girlfriend ( a new one since the last entry...the usual), a new friend (once again a new one since the last entry), a couple of British people and Swedes (seriously speaking, Swedish chicks aren't that hot..). I forgot to recharge the dumb phone of mine which is forever out of credit. I realized by 11:30pm that i need to recharge...but then Chennai sleeps by 10:30 or something...ie, if you live in a late activity zone...(i wonder where whores in Chennai recharge late at night in case of an emergency or something?)

Fuckin shit...screw that..why should i make my new entry so boring...

Meanwhile, i checked out my little visitor counting thing on the page and saw that somebody accidently grazed onto this page last week...the 28th of march...whoever that good soul is, i thank that person for this momentary highness...if you could do that more often, i could kinda try getting off weed...or maybe even booze...maybe even cigarettes...what the fuck, i'll even stop fantasizing about those hot little bikini clad chicks...

the last one, i won't.

SO here i am...awaiting my next trip to Dubai...which is 16 days away. only 16 days away. after spending one and a half years ( a few days short of) doing this...16 days with 5 exams embedded in them feels like a nice fart. a nice fart like the one that comes after having a wholesome biryani at home. a nice fart like the one that you have when in a lift full of people.

I just checked out the preview of this entry...holy fucking crap...if you have read this far...i am amazed at your diligence and patience. I could institute a JB and Nobel Prize for Patience and give it to you for the next 50 years or so...

the writing next to the SAVE NOW button says Draft autosaved at 2:21 AM. I have almost spent 30 minutes and i haven't written anything substantial...I should stop writing. I should stay off the internet.

I wish life had one of those SAVE NOW buttons for life. Every time i did something right, I could hit that little button and then that would say Life saved at 2:23 PM. I think it could say Life saved at 2:24 PM, said NO to endless supply of free weed for life.

Then when you rethink this whole thing and say Yes to the same thing at 2:25 PM and then go on and smoke your brain cells dead in the next 3 years, you could just hit reset and start at the saved part again...just like in the games...then i think that there will be a missing portion in your life...so fuck the SAVE NOW button...

I am bored... i came online...wrote some shit sbout some shit on my blog, some shit that i was thinking about..some shit i was not thinking about, some delusional fantasies of this schizo bordering crippled fantasy oriented mind of mine... and now i feel like stopping. i feel like deleting this whole thing i have written.

But i wont...

because :

Draft autosaved at 2:34 AM

I have SPENT more than half an hour doing this... i cant hit delete...thats why.

Maybe because i want to feel alive once again...this is my way of feeling alive - by letting people know that i am alive.

By writing and seeing my writing, i know that some part of me is living.

Fighting.

Struggling.

Winning.

I am Back. I don't know for how long. maybe this is the last you will see from me for the next 355 days-thats how long it's been since the last one.

And yeah, about the title... i did not know what to call this one...since i started off with 'what the fuck (WTF)', i thought that was a cool title....its always inauspicious to start off with a title-less entry in a new year...ask the Chinese.

I will give you excuses for not blogging for 355 days soon... give me some ideas. Atleast some comments...

i can help you with the comments part...try 'GOOD', 'AMAZING BLOG JB', or my favorite one - 'I MISSED YOU, I AM A VIRGIN,I LIKE YOU'RE WRITING...I LIVE ALONE, CALL ME ON *******. BTW, I HAVE EPIC TITS!!!'

I could write a blog on fantasy comments....

WOW!

MeE

JB signin off...

3 comments:

Anuja said...

lol u bloggers r soo cute :D

jibin said...

dude...fart u get in a lift full of ppl?? wtf??

Anonymous said...

I MISSED YOU, I AM A VIRGIN,I LIKE YOU'RE WRITING...I LIVE ALONE, CALL ME ON *******. BTW, I HAVE EPIC TITS!!!'