Monday, November 24, 2008

In search of the Inspiratory/Unfindable Muse

Again, i cease to be able to write. All over again, especially when i thought with the last post i will be able to write. All over again. At times i wonder what is wrong with me?(again for the umpteenth^umpteenth time, i ask myself this question on this same blog. All over again I seem to be fixated with this very normal expresson this time

Maybe it is not what is wrong with me, instead it is what maybe wrong with what i have in life...or maybe it is what i don't have. 

What i realized i lacked is  - "A MUSE"

(I swear the clouds just cleared all over again) 

So, the day I realized what I lack in my life, I decided to search for the ultimate in all available muses. 

First i tried finding human muses. Looked into my wife...not happening since we seem to fight once every 3 days (don't ask why). NOTE : MUSES and their MUSERS dont fight a lot. The Muser is always amused with his muse. That is exactly why they don't fight much.

Then i tried looking into more primitive forms of humans (they are called myroommates) and found out that to be able to muse upon a muse, the muse needs a certain level of intellect, ie an IQ which may be above 50 or so. so you see the obvious problem arose...I wasnt vegetable enough.

Then i took my search to a new level. If i can include my hare-brained vegetable IQ roommates, why not look at animals? So, i decided to look upon the magnificient creatures on 4 legs for answers, inspiration and intellect. 

First stop, DOGS - too darned scared of them. 
CATS - too darned scared of me. 
PIGEONS - they shit on my bike. Muses never shat on their owners properties...unless and until you are a big fan of 2 Girls 1 cup ,you wouldnt want your muse shitting on stuff (including yourself).

After exhausting the possible wildlife in the jungle Chennai, i decided the muse of all muses must be an inanimate object. Like Archimedes had a bathtub for inspiration to run naked and invent some stupid theory, i also would find the muse of all muses. 

Hence my quest started. First object of affection was the bike and in a bitter attempt to make my humble steed the mother muse, i took  her and a certain wife for a long ride. We visited 2 beaches and were on our way back when my probable-muse decided that to make things more interesting by shredding her timing chain breathing her last breath and sputtering to lifelessness. I couldn't make her my muse if i had to push her 160kg ass on two wheels every time i needed inspiration...

I left the thought of making an inanimate object as my muse with the first round of auditions itself.

Then the beautiful thought arose. (heavenly arc music fades out) WHY NOT MAKE MYSELF MY MUSE? With that, all i needed to do was to look in the mirror and i could become inspired. I had hit the mother of all muses. Myself. I had a muse which didn' t need any more maintenence than myself. So, i lock the room one night and decide to look at myself for inspiration...

Oh my god, is that another pimple? Why is my nose covered with those spots?Would i look good in Chuck's hairstyle? Or is mine good anyways? when will i have a complete beard? am i a little too puny for my age? Maybe i am hot...

That above set of statements more or less explain my train of thought. I found a narcissist when i searched for a muse. This led to a situation that can only be explained by making up a latin sounding phrase - STALEMATIFIED MAJORCUS.

Then i took a cigarette and started smokin. By the end of the smoke, i had my eureka moment. Why not make up an entire entry on the search for the invisible muse? 

I found my muse : it costs me Rs 4 + lung cancer treatement charges...

JB signin off...