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Monday, November 24, 2008

In search of the Inspiratory/Unfindable Muse

Again, i cease to be able to write. All over again, especially when i thought with the last post i will be able to write. All over again. At times i wonder what is wrong with me?(again for the umpteenth^umpteenth time, i ask myself this question on this same blog. All over again I seem to be fixated with this very normal expresson this time

Maybe it is not what is wrong with me, instead it is what maybe wrong with what i have in life...or maybe it is what i don't have. 

What i realized i lacked is  - "A MUSE"

(I swear the clouds just cleared all over again) 

So, the day I realized what I lack in my life, I decided to search for the ultimate in all available muses. 


First i tried finding human muses. Looked into my wife...not happening since we seem to fight once every 3 days (don't ask why). NOTE : MUSES and their MUSERS dont fight a lot. The Muser is always amused with his muse. That is exactly why they don't fight much.

Then i tried looking into more primitive forms of humans (they are called myroommates) and found out that to be able to muse upon a muse, the muse needs a certain level of intellect, ie an IQ which may be above 50 or so. so you see the obvious problem arose...I wasnt vegetable enough.

Then i took my search to a new level. If i can include my hare-brained vegetable IQ roommates, why not look at animals? So, i decided to look upon the magnificient creatures on 4 legs for answers, inspiration and intellect. 

First stop, DOGS - too darned scared of them. 
CATS - too darned scared of me. 
PIGEONS - they shit on my bike. Muses never shat on their owners properties...unless and until you are a big fan of 2 Girls 1 cup ,you wouldnt want your muse shitting on stuff (including yourself).

After exhausting the possible wildlife in the jungle Chennai, i decided the muse of all muses must be an inanimate object. Like Archimedes had a bathtub for inspiration to run naked and invent some stupid theory, i also would find the muse of all muses. 

Hence my quest started. First object of affection was the bike and in a bitter attempt to make my humble steed the mother muse, i took  her and a certain wife for a long ride. We visited 2 beaches and were on our way back when my probable-muse decided that to make things more interesting by shredding her timing chain breathing her last breath and sputtering to lifelessness. I couldn't make her my muse if i had to push her 160kg ass on two wheels every time i needed inspiration...

I left the thought of making an inanimate object as my muse with the first round of auditions itself.

Then the beautiful thought arose. (heavenly arc music fades out) WHY NOT MAKE MYSELF MY MUSE? With that, all i needed to do was to look in the mirror and i could become inspired. I had hit the mother of all muses. Myself. I had a muse which didn' t need any more maintenence than myself. So, i lock the room one night and decide to look at myself for inspiration...

Oh my god, is that another pimple? Why is my nose covered with those spots?Would i look good in Chuck's hairstyle? Or is mine good anyways? when will i have a complete beard? am i a little too puny for my age? Maybe i am hot...

That above set of statements more or less explain my train of thought. I found a narcissist when i searched for a muse. This led to a situation that can only be explained by making up a latin sounding phrase - STALEMATIFIED MAJORCUS.

Then i took a cigarette and started smokin. By the end of the smoke, i had my eureka moment. Why not make up an entire entry on the search for the invisible muse? 

I found my muse : it costs me Rs 4 + lung cancer treatement charges...


JB signin off...

MeE

15 comments:

simran said...

hey!! i thoroughly enjoyed ur blog entry! specially after it was written after sooo long! ..a good come bak i must say...keep bloggin!
sim :)

Another Blogger said...

maybe ur bike wasn a bad muse after all .. maybe u had to push her 160 kg ass cos u had a 'wife' along with u and ur muse dint quite enjoy it!!!

and narcissism is the treatment for loneliness - lol. dont worry.

nice post :)

Mihir said...

awwww....choo chweet you are mishal. lil mischelle in diapers, pissing shit all over the web.

(did you see how i used pissing and shitting corelated and in the same sentence)

hey, maybe im cool now. suddenly im this whole literature dude. i can write. wow. i can put more than 2 words together and then try and use only one word(which in your case happened to be muse) more than 47 times and voila!!! we have a blog entry. taht way im pleasing myself and everybody else and convincing myself that im normal and that im still writting when the only reason you are writing is coz you want to think youre as funny as the other guys out there(that includes me) and things like that.

miss you loads.mail me bout your holiday details.
love you loads dick!
-mwwaaaah-
see, i send kisses also, im pretty sure im better than your wifey too.
(Goda...hope you burn)(hugs to you and the rest of them)

Anuja said...

haha u and ur stupid cigarette smoking

Goda said...

So, the entry was good (finally something which could be read after so many what-ever-you-call-them blogs. calculated my inspiration and life line (my excuse to survive which kills me faster) - it costs 0.5/- more than yours (does the cost matter when it comes to a muse)
wife is a wife which is why they call her a wife and will remain a wife (unless you forcefully convert her to a muse) which is not a really good idea because then your wife wont remain the hub for action and amusement and fun and affection and companionship and arguements (GOD, religion and that one condensed molecule) and you lameass excuse to come back to the hell hole Chennai.
And yes Mihir, in your everlasting attempts to make me burn (I AM NOT JEALOUS OF YOU) and certainly not threatened by you (well maybe slightly). :) (he IS taking off for new years to spend it with you)
Anuja, so you thought it was just cigarette smoking?? you dont know so much!!! (you have missed a lot).

JuXtApOsEd_BlOgGeR said...

@simran : Thanks for the good comments...

@ AB : MY ex muse respects the wife and she has to be respected due to certain reasons. I am still reeling from the amount i am goin to spend to repair that whore muse...

@ mihir : You are gay as hell dude...just gay as hell...I might want you to die the next time...and wow you can relate bowel movements to each other...bravo dude...bravo...

@ anuja : Like goda said...you need to observe that the cigs were not all that important...

@ goda : BRAVO!!

JB signin off...

MeE

c.H.a.O.s FrEaK said...

You've the symptoms.

Don't treat it.

Too bad I don't smoke. I'm missing a lot of eureka moments. And I thought running naked right out of the tub makes me archimedes. sigh*

nice post.

JuXtApOsEd_BlOgGeR said...

@ c.H.a.O.s FrEaK : With a name like that who needs a muse? btw, ive always wanted to ask, are you another version of butters on South park?
Try not smoking, it hurts...

c.H.a.O.s FrEaK said...

ha ha nice try ...But you kinda saw my negative in Butters then; from what I know of B. I had to wiki "butters" to come up with some conclusions. Never been so much of a South Park fan anyway.

I actually can't figure out why you'd confuse me with the B character; and would be nice if you could enlighten me there;

JuXtApOsEd_BlOgGeR said...

@ c.H.a.O.s FrEaK : OMG, i haven't met the likes of youse. the un-south parkers.
Ok ok...i can explain. Butters is a very obliging young boy from south park who is made to take blame for anything (i mean anything) that happens on SP (south park). He is the ultimate good person amongst all good persons.He has an evil Alter ego called Professor Chaos and hence i thought that your name CHAOS freak (plus a few dots) has something to do with that...btw, i did not mean to INSULT you by calling you obliging or anything( nobody wants to be a nice guy anymore)...
anyways CHAO(S) Chaos...

c.H.a.O.s FrEaK said...

lol. Nah I didn't take anything wrong. In fact I've been feeling pretty high thinking I'm some kinda bad fellow and here you are comaparing me with some goody boy.

Naah...not in another 7 lives. [:)]

cheers.

Another Blogger said...

hey i have something that might interest you and your blog in my latest blog post.
come pick it up before your time is up... the clock is ticking.. tick tock tick tock...

Jane Turley said...

Well hello Juxtaposed Blogger! Here you are, musing away....sounding strangely sexy!

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miti said...

:| someone REALLY wants you to quite smoking