ReSurgEncE of ExiStEncE - Living In PAST TENSE

I like to walk in the rain so that i can Hide my Tears - Charlie Chaplin

Saddest words i have heard and ironically from the funniest man ever.
Behind every smile...every laughter lies an ocean of tears.

More than 10 days since i am back in this world... i have switched myself, my personality, my thoughts to the world i am in right now.I wish i could do the same thing with my soul...my memories... my feelings.Alas i can't.

I have once again sopped living completely...started existing once again - Resurgence of existence.

Some days i wish i were raining as Charlie Chaplin said... those days i could show my pain, my hurt, my dissappointments out to the world in such a way that i would be able to bear all this just a little bit more, in such a way that no one sees me letting all out...

Only thing that paradoxically makes all this bearable is the memories... the same memories that makes it all unbearable... i guess my life is the KING of all Paradoxes..."Memories - The Necessary Evil"

I guess my rain is the net... the place where everyone knows i am crying...but no one can see it...u can hear the sniffles but i'm hiding under the covers ...

I just feel so helpless at times... i feel like i am here without a purpose... i don't know what my purpose is...other times i am fucked up and frustrated...one partof me just dies for freedom and fun (read : back in dubai wid homz) and the other part of me demands for discipline and achieving dreams bullshit!

What happens at some point if you stop believing in yourself, Your own dreams which you interpreted from the stars, you stop caring about the trust and hopes your parents have in you??What if you don't fucking care?Where are all these answers??

Sometimes i feel that i am losing hope in God...Give me strength Lord

As Eminem said in 8 mile "At some point in life, you gotta stop living up there and start living down here"

So many questions that cannot be answered...

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all
comprehensible - Albert Einstein

Back to the shithole again... five months...and i sincerely hope that these five months like piss (Rashid said the piss part)...I miss all of you guys really bad...i miss living... it sure was fun to live for sometime...

On a better note...Mee and Saad have plans for starting a new blog on blogspot...address to be out soon...let the bhaiyya start his bloggin... letting him do the opening ceremony...hopefully sometime next week...

Sorry for killling you with my bickering and bitching...just that i needed to let out some steam...

It is possible to cross oceans without wetting your feet, but it is impossible
to pass through the journey of life without wetting your eyes.

MeE
JB signin off...