Today, i turned 21.
21 means a lot of things to a lot of people.
For me it is another normal year. I just feel a lot older. Gone are the aspirations of becoming a taxi driver or a garbage collector just because it was cool. In is financial woes and balancing a budget. Along with the aspiration of an MBA and all that jazz.
21 in India is the legal age for entering into matrimony for males (i am a male, i can prove that...if you are a girl, give me a call). 21 is the legal clubbing age across the entire world (i hope so). 21 is the legal age to drink as well. So, technically i should be happy that i am 21.
But why am i not? Maybe this is the fucked up part in me. Sometimes i wish i could be a kid all over again. Sometimes i wish otherwise.
Today is one such day where i wish i could be innocent. where i would have no worries. all i want to do is play cars with mini cars and remote controls and make a huge 'traffic jam line of cars' thingy. Maybe that is why i made it a point to be as childish as i could be on 24th September 2008.
Somehow i feel that today was my last day of being a child. And i used it to its full potential.
Enough of that emotional crap.
Things that normal people do on their 21st birthday that i felt was not needed:
1) a bath
2) wear clean clothes
4) not work
this list could go on for ages and i could come up with wild things that wouldn't make any sense. so i decided to stop here.
So what did i do on the first day of my 21st year on earth? Nothing that i did was spectacular. at least voluntarily. Otherwise i got kicked on my bum while suspended from air. Egg smacked while being blindfolded. and a chocolate cake that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEDA FUCKER.
Don't ask me what Yeda means...
I wonder what one should actually feel on their 21st year of life? I don't feel serious enough to be an adult. not childish enough to be a kid. I don't feel rebellious anymore. Not too horny these days. it feels like a limbo. somewhere between childhood, teenage hood and adulthood. There should be a manual that says "THINGS TO DO AND THINK ABOUT @ 21"
I still feel 20. sometimes even 19. i have definitely become more un stupid. i stopped playing with people's feelings. i am smoking a lot these days. i am not slightly homosexual. i am concerned about people. I am not that angry anymore. I have started loving 'The Brady Bunch'. I have stopped daydreaming. I am in a relationship for almost a year.
So i guess i am a mixture of all those years i have passed. Maybe everyone is a little bit of every year. When i speak in different voices and believe that my turtle can reply,I must be 4. When i dream of flying and conversing with superheroes i must be 6. When i am thinking of watching FTV and ahem, i must be 15. When i sit down and laugh at my first time smoking/driving/school i must be 19. When i sit down and laugh at stupid rivalries and gangster-giri i must be 20. When i care about other people and life and how to change the world to make it a better place, i must be 21. Or maybe there is more to 21 than that.
I don't know what this year holds for me. Soon enough i will feel like an uncle. Another 21 years will pass and i will remember all this. maybe i wont. Whatever this year holds, i am sure that i will have many more memories of friends, families and lot of other things. Good, bad or outright
ugly, here i come 22...
JB signin off...
PS : I'm a bit rusty, so forgive me for this bullcrap.