21

Today, i turned 21.

21 means a lot of things to a lot of people.

For me it is another normal year. I just feel a lot older. Gone are the aspirations of becoming a taxi driver or a garbage collector just because it was cool. In is financial woes and balancing a budget. Along with the aspiration of an MBA and all that jazz.

21 in India is the legal age for entering into matrimony for males (i am a male, i can prove that...if you are a girl, give me a call). 21 is the legal clubbing age across the entire world (i hope so). 21 is the legal age to drink as well. So, technically i should be happy that i am 21.

But why am i not? Maybe this is the fucked up part in me. Sometimes i wish i could be a kid all over again. Sometimes i wish otherwise.


Today is one such day where i wish i could be innocent. where i would have no worries. all i want to do is play cars with mini cars and remote controls and make a huge 'traffic jam line of cars' thingy. Maybe that is why i made it a point to be as childish as i could be on 24th September 2008.

Somehow i feel that today was my last day of being a child. And i used it to its full potential.

Enough of that emotional crap.

Things that normal people do on their 21st birthday that i felt was not needed:
1) a bath
2) wear clean clothes
3) Celebrate
4) not work

this list could go on for ages and i could come up with wild things that wouldn't make any sense. so i decided to stop here.

So what did i do on the first day of my 21st year on earth? Nothing that i did was spectacular. at least voluntarily. Otherwise i got kicked on my bum while suspended from air. Egg smacked while being blindfolded. and a chocolate cake that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEDA FUCKER.
Don't ask me what Yeda means...



I wonder what one should actually feel on their 21st year of life? I don't feel serious enough to be an adult. not childish enough to be a kid. I don't feel rebellious anymore. Not too horny these days. it feels like a limbo. somewhere between childhood, teenage hood and adulthood. There should be a manual that says "THINGS TO DO AND THINK ABOUT @ 21"

I still feel 20. sometimes even 19. i have definitely become more un stupid. i stopped playing with people's feelings. i am smoking a lot these days. i am not slightly homosexual. i am concerned about people. I am not that angry anymore. I have started loving 'The Brady Bunch'. I have stopped daydreaming. I am in a relationship for almost a year.

So i guess i am a mixture of all those years i have passed. Maybe everyone is a little bit of every year. When i speak in different voices and believe that my turtle can reply,I must be 4. When i dream of flying and conversing with superheroes i must be 6. When i am thinking of watching FTV and ahem, i must be 15. When i sit down and laugh at my first time smoking/driving/school i must be 19. When i sit down and laugh at stupid rivalries and gangster-giri i must be 20. When i care about other people and life and how to change the world to make it a better place, i must be 21. Or maybe there is more to 21 than that.

I don't know what this year holds for me. Soon enough i will feel like an uncle. Another 21 years will pass and i will remember all this. maybe i wont. Whatever this year holds, i am sure that i will have many more memories of friends, families and lot of other things. Good, bad or outright
ugly, here i come 22...


Uncle MeE

JB signin off...

PS : I'm a bit rusty, so forgive me for this bullcrap.

Waiting for the moment

Waiting…that’s what life seems to be all about. Just waiting. Waiting for the right moment to make a grand entrance in to this not so grand world…waiting for the right moment to start crawling, walking, talking, schooling, shagging…and other waits such as for a passport, visa, flight, bus, friends, teenage hood, adulthood…

Other sorts of not so pleasant types includes scenarios such as being constipated (I hope the reader can work out the wait by himself/herself ), for either person to say sorry after a fight, wait in line in a booze shop across the road from home with an inquisitive family peeking out every second, wait for the results of a series of 3 hour examinations that are going to decide the choices and outcomes of life (at least the financial aspects of it)…

Some waiting situations (if I can call it that!) are really lame and non understandable…one is waiting for moving from first base to the second and the agonizingly desperate one for the move on to the third base and then the really fucked up wait for the attainment of “the feeling of being CONSUMMATED”…then there is the really non understandable agonizing wait for the menstrual cycles of one’s girlfriend (this can be avoided by the use of protection) or the wait for them to get over (this happens with the use protection)…the more serious but equally non understandable wait for the results of medical tests testing life threatening diseases and conditions…

How does one decide how long to wait for something? At least for situations which maybe in control? Who decided that a human being has to wait for 16-20 years to have a smoke (depending on which country from which one is and always the question or answer of underage smoking is there)…and the same applies for drinking as well… it just cannot be understood that a person should wait for years on endlessly because the government decides so.

The whole conspiracy of the government is to not make people idle. I am sure the UN and every nation on the face of the planet has an agency (more covert than the M16, Mossad and Al-Qaeda put together) which is called UnIdle Citizen Agency (U.C.A) which has an aim of making people not idle enough to realize their government is stupid and all the synonyms related. That is why they have age bars for everything. If it weren’t for the endless lusting for a driver’s license and that of legal smoking, drinking, clubbing and so on today’s youth would be more sensible and would actually do something productive…it’s just a conspiracy folks…

The stupidest wait in the world is that of getting married…I keep wondering if marriages are made in heaven, does it mean that the date (as in legally marriageable age) is decided by the government?

What makes us wait? Why do we have to wait for everything? If somebody would take a statistic on people waiting for something or the other and figure out a percentage of our lives spent on just plain old waiting, it would be amusing and equally disturbing...another equally pointless waste of precious little time on earth is SLEEPING (according to me, the InsOmNiAc)...

Some other day, some other time...this hot chick in a sari is calling me...(read : AIR HOSTESS ABOVE THE 40 YEAR AGE MARK)

All this while waiting in the boarding lounge in Sri Lanka for 3 hours...

JB signin off…

MeE

(added later) an even more agonizing waiting I had the luxury of experiencing was the 1.5 hour wait for my two suitcases in Calicut International Airport…they decided to use 1 baggage belt for 4 flights when they had two more belts lounging around…now, do you believe the UCA exists?

JB signin off...

MeE

WTF?!!!

What the fuck (WTF?) is happening to me???It's been so darned long since i actually wrote something.
I don't even feel like logging onto blogger.com anymore.
I don't know why...i just don't write anymore...

Its more like i cant write anymore...I've got this major writer's block or rather BLOGGER's block. I am trying to cure it - you will notice from the written content below.

I am at 503, Suruthi Block, Choolai Medu, Chennai - that is the bachelor pad/fuck shack/ovenishly hot apartment that i live in nowadays. And as usual I'm alone and a bordering insomniac... nothing seems to have changed...sometimes everything seems to have changed.

The little blogger clock next to the save button says 'Draft autosaved at 1:52 AM'... i guess that sums up the time that i am entering this blog...

Now whoever reads this (if anyone reads this!) might be wondering...what the fuck (wtf?) happened after The Fast and the Fucked : Manipal Drift? Where is the sequel?

Ans : I did have a sequel for it ready even before the i uploaded Manipal Drift, but i did not get enough time or rather did not have the inclination toward uploading it.

Until today. But i still wont be uploading it because i think i still need to refine the article a little bit. Fuck that...thats just another empty promise i make...i seem to make only empty promises these days.

Today is the birthday of a person who is one of the human being's i am the closest to.

And hence, I am wallowing and drowning myself in guilt right now.

So why the guilt?

I did not call him.

I am evil...undeserving...obnoxious...self centered...

I am myself.

Why didn't I???

Ans : I was out and enjoying at one of the coolest (read lamest) joints in Chennai called Mocha with my girlfriend ( a new one since the last entry...the usual), a new friend (once again a new one since the last entry), a couple of British people and Swedes (seriously speaking, Swedish chicks aren't that hot..). I forgot to recharge the dumb phone of mine which is forever out of credit. I realized by 11:30pm that i need to recharge...but then Chennai sleeps by 10:30 or something...ie, if you live in a late activity zone...(i wonder where whores in Chennai recharge late at night in case of an emergency or something?)

Fuckin shit...screw that..why should i make my new entry so boring...

Meanwhile, i checked out my little visitor counting thing on the page and saw that somebody accidently grazed onto this page last week...the 28th of march...whoever that good soul is, i thank that person for this momentary highness...if you could do that more often, i could kinda try getting off weed...or maybe even booze...maybe even cigarettes...what the fuck, i'll even stop fantasizing about those hot little bikini clad chicks...

the last one, i won't.

SO here i am...awaiting my next trip to Dubai...which is 16 days away. only 16 days away. after spending one and a half years ( a few days short of) doing this...16 days with 5 exams embedded in them feels like a nice fart. a nice fart like the one that comes after having a wholesome biryani at home. a nice fart like the one that you have when in a lift full of people.

I just checked out the preview of this entry...holy fucking crap...if you have read this far...i am amazed at your diligence and patience. I could institute a JB and Nobel Prize for Patience and give it to you for the next 50 years or so...

the writing next to the SAVE NOW button says Draft autosaved at 2:21 AM. I have almost spent 30 minutes and i haven't written anything substantial...I should stop writing. I should stay off the internet.

I wish life had one of those SAVE NOW buttons for life. Every time i did something right, I could hit that little button and then that would say Life saved at 2:23 PM. I think it could say Life saved at 2:24 PM, said NO to endless supply of free weed for life.

Then when you rethink this whole thing and say Yes to the same thing at 2:25 PM and then go on and smoke your brain cells dead in the next 3 years, you could just hit reset and start at the saved part again...just like in the games...then i think that there will be a missing portion in your life...so fuck the SAVE NOW button...

I am bored... i came online...wrote some shit sbout some shit on my blog, some shit that i was thinking about..some shit i was not thinking about, some delusional fantasies of this schizo bordering crippled fantasy oriented mind of mine... and now i feel like stopping. i feel like deleting this whole thing i have written.

But i wont...

because :

Draft autosaved at 2:34 AM

I have SPENT more than half an hour doing this... i cant hit delete...thats why.

Maybe because i want to feel alive once again...this is my way of feeling alive - by letting people know that i am alive.

By writing and seeing my writing, i know that some part of me is living.

Fighting.

Struggling.

Winning.

I am Back. I don't know for how long. maybe this is the last you will see from me for the next 355 days-thats how long it's been since the last one.

And yeah, about the title... i did not know what to call this one...since i started off with 'what the fuck (WTF)', i thought that was a cool title....its always inauspicious to start off with a title-less entry in a new year...ask the Chinese.

I will give you excuses for not blogging for 355 days soon... give me some ideas. Atleast some comments...

i can help you with the comments part...try 'GOOD', 'AMAZING BLOG JB', or my favorite one - 'I MISSED YOU, I AM A VIRGIN,I LIKE YOU'RE WRITING...I LIVE ALONE, CALL ME ON *******. BTW, I HAVE EPIC TITS!!!'

I could write a blog on fantasy comments....

WOW!

MeE

JB signin off...

The Fast and the Fucked : Manipal Drift

Sitting in the railway station...reading the word Udupi...in English,Hindi and Kannada.wondering what is which sound in the writing in Kannada.

waiting for the Netravadi Express...30mins still left for the train...

It's still there fresh in my head.the first time i came to Manipal...to meet up with Arun,Vin-Dee,Jeeps...all of my really amazing friends from forever.

day1.I reach by 8am in the morning...by 10 we borrow a car from Arun and Vin-dee's friend(mistake no1).A golden Santro...THE GOLDEN SANTRO.

Immediately we all decide to leave to Suratkal...lemme tell you a little about this nice sleepy town....

This is a nice place in South Karnataka,SECULAR India which is generally very sleepy and is also home to NIT.Oh! I almost forgot...This place in the recent past witnessed terrible killings and riots in a very religious way.

As I was saying immediately we all decide to leave to Suratkal to meet up with the other half of our gang.Two beers and a breezer later,(NOTE:The driver did not drink at all)we reach there.Everyone was too busy PRACTICING for some music show in Mangalore.(the place I would soon hate)

Since all the others were too busy practicing we decided to do something more interesting(mistake no2).

Hence we set off to Mangalore (''why the fuck?''everyone who reads this blog would ask at the end of it).

Almost reached outside Suratkal and was happily overtaking passing vehicles...nothing out of the ordinary,if u are used to Indian roads.Going at normal highway speeds.Everything was going ok.

Then It happened....

We were overtaking a bike and then the biker came closer to us at the same time.Then his mirror scraped the side of the car...

Vin-Dee and Mee(not in unison but together and after the thud sound) :FUCK! We hit the motherfucker.

Arun:What do we do?

MeE: FLY! (Mistake no3)

Arun and Vin-Dee:Wtf??????????

MeE:Fly....just fly...run...

Vin-Dee:Man,shouldn't we stop and check whether the guy is alright??

MeE:Fuck him man(sounds inconsiderate...but i was shit scared...dint wanna get killed in the hands of VHP-which stands for Vishwa Hindu Parishad...and the minute and least important factor that i was a Muslim)...just drive fast Arun...real fast...

Vin-Dee : Man the guy has his hands outstretched into the air and looks like he is bleeding,i think we should stop man...

Unluckily,the decision was to fly (not unanimous...hey this ain't no democracy)

MeE : Fuck it man, we too far to even think of stopping (maximum of 150m away from the incident)

Arun (after some F1 style driving and a few kilometers away from the place):I think we safe man...

Vin-Dee (he is least listened to,implying mistake no4) : I think there is a bike following us.

Arun and MeE : Naah...they just normal bikers (who later look like menacing VHP activists)

Next , a scene from a Hindi movie...the bike cuts us off at a fork..and tells us to park the car on the side.The guys...one of them is a sorta plump guy who supposedly has a kind smile(the retarded sorta) and had an army cut,mostly 1mm of hair all over his head...but at that instant he radiated pure evil.The other guy was a wiry dude...dark...with curly nigga hair,the sorta fuck who would tie u up,rape your mom,steal everything from home,and burn it down anyway.

Vin-Dee : We fucked for sure...
MeE: They gonna beat the crap outta us...

MeE thinking : FLY again....(thank God that this thought was not voiced...otherwise mistake no5)

We park on the side...Arun rolls down his window.The wiry fuck puts his hand in and tries to take the key(very much unsuccessfully).

After a small talk (read:Order/monologue/dictatorship) we decide to go meet the hit (in the hit and run case) at a secret,undisclosed location...Sathyaji's(Communal leader) house.We would reach there and get to see Sathyaji...

Till we got there we tried to do some small polite small talk (which would basically keep his train of thought away from the book titled 1001 Ways to Torture People Mowing NRI's).

So we basically asked him what he did for a living.''I am a social worker...and so is the one you horrendously mauled''

REWIND!Social worker???FUCK!That means he belongs to an extremist fundamentalist party.And he had a bright blood red teeka on his forehead.Implying the three letters i love to hate VHP.

So one of us basically asked him in plain language if he belonged to VHP and he said yes.

Due to an immediate brainstorm I say ''Even Arun is in the VHP''(attempt to make sure that we have at least one limb left to beg or something like that)

Random thoughts at the defining moments before entering Sathyaji's compound...

Vin-Dee : We are gonna get beaten up.

MeE : I am gonna get beaten up more...I'm a Muslim.

Arun : I AM NOT IN A STATE TO EVEN THINK.

Vin-Dee(hence proclaimed the bravest amongst us) steps out of the car,followed by Arun and finally me...thoughts such as ''I'm not supposed to even be here''...''what the fuck have we brought ourselves into this time?''...''why meeeeeee??''...''can i just leave Arun and go back to Kerala?''...were swirling around my head...OK!Agreed that i am a freaking coward

''Sathyaji...'' the plump one called out...he was no where to be seen...

''Maybe he just got swallowed by the earth...lets go back...maybe he fell into the well...lets go back'' I kept saying to myself.

Sathya-ji came out and behold! There came our angel in the form of a baniyan and lungi clad human being with a 1mm uniform hair cut.

He looked like a nice person...even if he wasn't at least he did not slap on our faces upon our outstretched necks ever so ready to receive them...he was a darling.

By this time I was reborn as Ravindran Kumar...I would like Baba Amte...or maybe Lal Krishna Advani...but all time favorite was Dhirubhai Ambani...but alas I was christened as Ravindran Kumar...sheeesh, even my fake name sounds mallu.

Time : 2 'o clockish.

MeE and Vin-Dee (for the millionth time): Paisa is not a matter...any amount we shall give (where the fuck from?).Jus let us go...we are students.

If we could shed some tears and stuff like that,i swear all of us would have wailed at the top of our lungs.
In between comes the SI(Superindent of Police) to Sathya-ji's house on black TVS Apache to enquire about the ''Law and Order'' situation.

FUCK!We will get fucked now...at least now...

But Sathya-ji told him that the situation was under control and did not need any police intervention because we had come to the decision that we were going to pay for the Fuck's medical expenses.

But still, he walked towards us...one hand on his holster,the other hand adjusting his hat (well ummm...I don't think he had a hat,so wiping his sweat off his bald head).Dust flew around us...tumbleweeds rolled along....

Then for a second the sun shone brighter than ever,the glare off his bald head blinding me more than what the apache could ever do...the glare blinded us...just the silhouette we could see...he reached for his holster and took something out...and walked towards us.After coming close enough for us to realize that he did not use deo,he put his hand into his shirt pocket,took a pen out placed it on the notepad and bam! fired the first question...

''Tumhare paas DL hai?''(do u have a driving license?)

''Kiska gaadi hai?''(whose car is this?)

''Gaadi ka paper dikhao''(show me the papers of the car)

''Telephone number dedo''(give me your telephone numbers)

Then he left dreaming of calling us up late at night stroking parts of his body...

Finally the Maulee is brought to the secret undisclosed location...(sombre music plays in the background)
Sympathy flowed through our veins the second the guy limped his sorry ass into the compound of the house.He looked very much thinner than before we hit him...sheesh,loss of blood makes you thin.

His name was Keshiv...which we lovingly transformed to Keshiv-ji when he was around and pure and soulful expletives when he couldn't hear.He had just got first aid and nothing much was wrong with him other than the fact that he lost some skin and was limping(hey,that might not be us,maybe a freaking birth defect or a mutation).

So we took him to the doctor,Doctor Bhandarkar in our golden Santro.Took a few X-Rays and then came the really good and sophisticated bad news...

''Looks like there is an internal bone problem here...seems like his bone tip chipped off at the joint'' said Dr.Bhandarkar.

''Hey,maybe he was born with that'' I thought.

''You will have to go for an MRI scan'' he said.

''Isnt that for cancer??'' I thought.

''That is going to cost you a lot''said the doctor.

''Hmmm...a lot is well 900bucks is a lot,isn't it?''I thought.

''The MRI scan will cost around Rs5000 and if what i strongly believe is the case,he will require a complicated surgery,the whole thing coming to lets say,approximately Rs28000 - 30000'' said he.

There are times in your life when you wish that you would be just standing and a huge huge bird would come and swoop you away and drop you somewhere far away where the element of trouble does not exist.

And trust me,this is such a time.

On hearing this,the three of us fainted...I strongly believe one of us tried slashing his wrists with a blade...

Then he came up with a solution...Claim Insurance.Sounds simple doesn't it?Well considering that the car wasn't ours and the fact that this car is on the hitlist of Manipal Police and losing of credibility everywhere,this was not that simple anymore.

Then he came up with an even better solution...why don't we put someone else's car/bike?None of us owned a vehicle...and no one wanted to put their vehicles in the station for a few days...plus court case and all the fuss that comes along with the package,even that did not work.

Went back to Sathya-ji's house and sat in the compound for another 1 hour or so.

Since we were men of our words(plus shit scared),we agreed to this and decided to go for an MRI scan at KMC Mangalore...after all,we were responsible for what we did...we hit the guy,we almost killed him,we told him we will take care of him...

Always been in shit throughout our lives...we were overtly confident that we could get out of this mess...

And with our hearts heavy and shit worried we set off to Mangalore,ironically; our initial destination...the orange rays of the sun shone upon us...

there was light at least...

to be continued....

MeE

JB signin off...

AddiTions To tHE bLoG

Well... i have added two more page elements, one which i found on the web and is basically a cool thing you can use to waste time for a while... its called the NEWSMAKERS, basically type in a couple of names seperated by commas in the space provided and you can get the number of news mentions from the recent past and uptil today.I got this from here.Another addditional element is the newsbar Google provides.

Have fun using the Newsmakers tool and reading the newsbar...watch this space...wait for an update very soon...sooner than you think...wait for

The Fast and Fucked : Manipal Drift

Seasons greetings

MeE

JB signin off...

The Best Commercial Ever

Awesome advertisement...

MeE

JB signin off...

Ever ...?

There are some feelings i have felt over the last 7 months... i hate them feelings.Feelings that suck into my soul and drink away at my emotions and happiness.Feelings i dont want enyone to feel...ever.Feelings i myself dont want to feel.

Ever gone to bed at night alone...thinkin thoughts about the past...the not so distant past when you never slept?

Ever waited an entire day for a call that never came...hoping that someone misses u a lot somewhere .Enough to call u ?

Ever thought what you did at any point in a day in another place in an altogether different life and felt like crying?

Ever been amidst a hundred faces you know and still felt lonely ?

Ever craved for that feeling of companionship?

Ever felt like quitting your dream because you think you are not worth it?

Ever wanted to really badly cry but couldnt?

The world is coming apart.Fed up.
Body here.Soul there.One of them have to join the other.
I am not alone in this...

MeE

JB signin off...

TalkaboutS-1-SitComs

Today i Had this amazing brainwave (amazing according to me, brainwave...no comments)

I am gonna Blog conversations (chats) that i have had wid friends online...

Ok, i am not sure it will appeal to anyone who reads this but again, im outta ideas and time for innovation.

and it is going to be done wid the entire consent of the copyright holders : MeE and the Converser

So here goes... The TALKABOUTS 1 between MeE and NisHit

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
watchin house?

nishith says:
yeh

nishith says:
wt 2 do man...shit boring nwadayz

nishith says:
absolutely nothin to do...

nishith says:
no1to meet

nishith says:
juss soo boring

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
life has common factors when it comes to us 3

nishith says:
well....atleast u among ppl.....

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
im among ppl i dont connect wid

nishith says:
hmm..i guess...

nishith says:
so v r universally boored..

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
totally ... i dun even know which sites to check out...

nishith says:
its like the universe is conspiring to make us bored...

-----:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
i feel like vomiting at blogs

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
ive read so much

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
EEEYUCK!

nishith says:
chek out www.myspace.com

nishith says:
lisen to some orignal music

nishith says:
and get bored

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
im ssoooo sick of everythin

nishith says:
same here bro....

nishith says:
its like watching the same old show everyday 24/7

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
24/7 for 7 months man

nishith says:
and tht 2 some cheap ass hindi sitcom

nishith says:
wid all da bitches and witches

nishith says:
and all da boo hoo and plastic surgery

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
i swear... me in a mallu mega serial

nishith says:
minus all da illegetimate sex and marrriges

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
new charac every 3 months...but same old shit

nishith says:
all da good stuffs drained out...

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
no where do they show sex

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
!

nishith says:
they dont

nishith says:
bt in hindi sitcoms every now and then some1 gets pregnentt

nishith says:
some1 marries

nishith says:
some1 divorces

nishith says:
so...yeh...the idea is sex

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
mallu serials... its always the married man whose dick hates the wif

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
*wife

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
and other women hate the dick!

nishith says:
well...hindi serial...1 gurl marries the entire male cast

nishith says:
has kids wid every1 of them

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:

nishith says:
either the husband gets killed or she divorc s him

nishith says:
so...yeh...legitamate kids they be....

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
only to return in malluland...but divorces are no no

nishith says:
mann...all this serial tok is making me moreee borred....

nishith says:
damnation

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
yeah...i need a smoke

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
brb

nishith says:
k

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
nabk '

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
*nak

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
*bak

nishith says:
had fun?

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
naaah...

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
sad indian ones

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
dude, u mind if i blog the conversation we had?

nishith says:
huh?

nishith says:
which conv?

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
this one

------:•.•: : ..•¨ :.: .•¨•. :..------ says:
abt the serials ?

nishith says:
no prob


ANd it all ends there... these are two young men in their prime... imagine the state of the country if this might be the case of all the teens...

MeE

JB signin off...

BLOGGIST ALERT!!!!

There is a new ( i found him recently) Blogger artist on the WWW.
Highly philosophical and magnificient.

LINK HIM THRU HERE!
www.blogthree3.blogspot.com

aND it is no one but
NISHIT...A.K.A FAddy...
THe lazy friend of mine is amazing !

NICE BLOG BRO.. AND DON'T dare FLAG me down...

MeE

JB signin off...

Away...Far Away

Long hiatus from the world of blogging, from the world of everyone and everything.I cannot not explain completely why so, but i can maybe try to tell you the series of events which led to this state of mind and body.

First it began with the fevers last month.Unbearable the were.. but accepted and suffered too easily as in everything else in my life.Met a doctor...after a week of antibiotics the fevers still were killing me.He wanted a blood test and guess what, I HAD TYPHOID(!)Now i dont need to attend classes, YIPPPEEEE!>.Rapid change from democracy to military rule took place as i left hostel and reached home...soon put under INDEFINITE HOUSE ARREST.I began once again to live at home.ALONE.

Slowly a feeling of frustration grew inside me that i could not explain(as a result of being COOPED up i guess).Along with this feeling came feelings of helplessness, Unhappiness,Letahrgy.For the first time in world history (the one i know) a man can safely say I felt like a woman in the state of menopause.

I paid no attention to my friends ( i couldn't find a point).I slowly started loving the loneliness.I even started craving for more of it.Inside I was HURT.It pained...i was suffering but had already started to enjoy the pain.I loved to put myself to the hurt.I lost all grip over my emotions.

I tried my level best to make amends, but i was unsuccessful.I tried messaging friends, but i couldn't.My mind was a violent storm,My heart was heavy.

I withdrew myself into a coccoon.I started to watch a lot of TV, especially news channels and all i saw were people who were being terrorized by armies... people fighting wars but not knowing for what.Leaders fasting for personal ends.Kids being raped.

At certain level their suffering made me feel like we were partners in this world.Partners all fighting for what we believed in,but definetely sure that we were going to lose this final battle.

One day Saad Bhaiyya called me... REVEALATION CALLING as i will remember the call.We were just talking casually.I was trying my level best to not let him know my condition because I know he is going uphill without any legs.Then he asked me the one Question that gave me a lot of answers "Mishal, do u realize that we are going to be spending our first eid alone and away from parents and family??"

This one question answered a lot of my questions about the state of mind...I realized that i was neglecting others and avoiding them because of the fact that i am going to be lonely...

But even then i did nothing to change anything... and then...

Day before yesterday i came home late and switched on TV.

FLASH NEWS::SADDAM TO BE HUNG IN A FEW HOURS says sources.

The next day early morning i see the news that he is already hung...and that too when parts of the world is celebrating EID.And in the afternoon i see the videos...

He was not a great man.He was PURE EVIL.He killed a lot of innocent people.But no man whatever crime he does deserves a public humiliation of being executed on TV.The whole world watched him die...and that too without a fair trial... I don't symapthize with him.Never will I.

But i sympathize with this world...the state of this world.This spineless, inhumane world.

Seeing the videos drained me out... i needed to vent my frustraion out in this world...and that led me to start blogging once again.Atleast one voice can be heard.

Sorry for neglecting you guys... really feeling like a bum...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EID MUBARAK and A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

When i look into your eyes
There is nothing left to see.
Nothing but my
own mistakes
Staring back at me.
- Pushing me away,LINKIN PARK

P4P - Prayin for PeAcE

MeE

JB signin off...